Sunday, June 5, 2011
Ah the things you find when you google yourself. I'm not sure when I actually wrote this but I have tried searching for it and was unsuccessful, until now. It's interesting as it sums me up nicely, except for the piece about my Grandaughter. I'm now' grandchild free'. Nic (see my New Beginnings blog) has since decided that due to the fact that I was such an horrendous mother I no longer have any rights to contact with her daughter. That honour has now been passed to my ex husbands new gf and I say, "good on them. Enjoy"
I am apparently turning 40 this year, but really I am only 26. I am Mum to a Son and Daughter who are delightful beyond words. I'm not into the whole verbal splurging of superfluous adjectives. My best trait, but possibly my worst, is my tendency to be blatantly honest. It's cost me family and friends. Upon reflection there is no loss. I do love my children, they do drive me nuts. But, God help anyone who hurts them. I am engaged to the most inspirational beautiful woman. Yes, I'm gay. I didn't find this out until later in life and if I had been more switched on to me instead of pandering to the needs of the selfish few who made me revolve my life around them I could have saved myself a great deal of angst. Of course everything happens for a reason and I would never give back my children, the 14 years with my ex husband or the raising of his 2 daughters (who I believed firmly were equally my children until they changed our history). Short bio? Hahahaha, nope it just can't be done. I do have a divine Grandaughter and I thank her Mum every night before I go to sleep for not depriving me of knowing her letting her know me. Ruby is the most precious jewel. I am a teacher and I am good at what I do. Listening is a great gift and while I talk a lot I also listen well. If I don't understand you then tell me again. Reflection, learning and growing are skills that I have developed over my life time. I have been able to apologise to people I have hurt due to my actions and I have also been able to accept apologise from people who have equally hurt me. At the end of the day, it's all about knowing there is a world beyond the end of our own noses. I wish for my children all that life offers. I could say I want them to have peace and happiness but I also want them to have angst and sadness. One can not be fully understood without the other. In the wise words of Descartes, "Cogito ergo sum". Unsure? Google it :)